Yesterday dawned as did the “L” day—I know some of you are thinking “Leaving” Day; others, more pious, are thinking “Learning” Day, but the cognoscenti amongst you knew I was talking about “Laundry” Day. It’s confession time again. Of course I know how to do laundry, and I have even done it a few times, but I have never done laundry in a coin operated laundry before. I have seen cute movie scenes that had taken place in laundromats; I have a friend that manages laundromats, but that has been the extent of my experience with laundromats. If Ilan can proudly state that he cleans septic tanks, I can do the same with the laundry. Not to be put off, I decided to plunge ahead and give it my best shot. Armed with my travel packets of detergent, my two LuLuLemon shopping bags of dirty clothes and my favorite Pratesi sheets (before you even think to label me a spoiled brat, I bought them in Marshall’s), I set out with confidence but immediately got bogged down in the mud outside our mobile home (lately I have been thinking that maybe I would feel better about living in a trailer if I called it a mobile home rather than an RV) because, as you have correctly guessed, it had poured all night long. We are so used to it by now, that it doesn’t bother us anymore. It was 8:05 am.
I opened the door to the laundry room and was relieved to see someone who clearly had done this before putting a load in. She was well equipped. She had two large laundry baskets; a costco sized box of Bounce and a huge bottle of laundry detergent. I was immediately envious. I pretended to be getting my things ready while all the while surreptitiously watching her every step. Feeling oh so confident I walked in to the shop and asked for $5 in quarters and proceeded to approach one of the washers. As my hand approached the cover, I heard, “don’t you touch those machines, Yankee”. Can’t you see they are all being used…..by me.” I knew then and there that the war between the States had never really ended for some people, and it was being played out in the RV laundry room.
How did she know? I had shed my Yankee armor back in NY. My jewelry was in the safe deposit box; my gel manicure was gone; my Prada flip flops were back home……what gave me away? I realized what it was. It was my favorite pair of Judith Lieber cats eye reading glasses with the teal and blue wave like swirls, accented with Swarovski crystals accents on the left eye piece. What would Abraham Lincoln have done there and then? I recalled that Ilan and I spent 11 hours listening to a “brief” history of the Civil War in anticipation of our trip to various Civil War era places of interest, but as you know, due to changing our itinerary, we bypassed all the Civil War sites. Here was my opportunity to perhaps change the course of history. Thinking quickly, I realized that the only weapon I had with me was my cell phone. I quickly went on I-tunes, downloaded Dixie, and hit play. The effect was immediate. Suddenly, all the washing machines stopped at once, my nemesis unloaded her wash, loaded everything into the dryers, and turned to me, smiled and wished me a lovely day. Steve Jobs, if you are reading this, from your ICloud in the sly, bless you!!